Define: Can't Handle

1. I just spent 3 minutes analyzing my fingerprints. It's unbelievable that those tiny little things are like a piece of my soul. Like no one else, my soul is unique. My fingerprints define me. When i touch something, a tiny little bit of ME is left there, and you can SEE it. My thoughts, feelings, ambitions, worries, and stresses are all symbolified..no..that's not a word. SYMBOLIZED by that little unique mark in the universe. BOOM. That was your mind being blown.

2. I told Quade today that I want to live in a vacuum for a little while. But not a hoover vacuum. I mean the one with neither space nor time nor people nor events nor deadlines nor girls nor school nor work nor hunger. He suggested that I go to a small island. I told him that that's not good enough. What I would need to do is go to an island, dig a hole, and crawl into it with nothing more than chips, salsa, and 4 seasons of Family Matters. That's basically the desperate state my mind is in right now. So unhealthy.

3.Guys, the sun? It's SO far away. Just stop tomorrow and look up and see where it is, so bright and big and epic. Yet it's completely silent. It's mind-numbingly far away. and most importantly...it's just floating there. Just chillin in the sky.

"Doo dum diddy dee I'm the sun, hangin with my pals, the planets, suspended in an endless void. Don't mind me."

Don't even get me started on the moon.    The MOON.


4. I'm going crazy. Reading week was so much more stressful than a regular week, and I still haven't gotten caught up. I'm going to have varied conversations (of various lengths and depths) with around 11 different people tomorrow in person when in fact I should be writing a paper. This paper? Oh man. I think this sums it up nicely: I was falling behind in this class and asked for an extension on this 2500 word essay. He tells me I have an extra weekend. The next day, he sends the whole class an email giving EVERYONE an extension. SO...can i have an ACTUAL extension on top of that now please? I need to feel special. Superior. oorr....at least less panicked than everyone else.

5. This kid I mentor? He calls me at 11:38 PM to tell me he thinks the Joker from Batman is hiding in his room. Oh..and that he has been watching scary movies. DUDE. KID. Stop watching the movies. That way we can both get a little sleep, aight?

6. It's so painful to read my posts from last year. I was SO bored. I had time to be interesting. I should have been communicating with future Josh and helping him out then. Now I resent you, past Josh. How do you like that? ANSWER ME.

7. I can't handle.

Define: Studying

Define: Studying.

Studying is the theoretical concept of forcing useful information into your brain for your test (usually the night before a test). Often used as an excuse not to hang out, go out, or spend money. It's probably the activity you're SUPPOSED to be doing right now. Consists of equal parts:

1.facebooking

2. eating

3.drawing stickman animations on the pages of your textbook so that you can flip it really fast and watch the action. And at the end of it, you realise that stickman just had more fun than you are having, so you decide to hang out/go out/spend money.

Traditional and successful studying was first developed by nerds who weren't capable of having coherent conversations about anything other than Pokemon and binary code. However, as a love for Pokemon became grounds for setting people on fire, they looked for a safer way to express their social deficiency. 'Group Study Sessions' is the ironic result of nerds feeling the need for acceptance in numbers, though they cannot talk with each other, so they just read.

Certain demographics of people including 'cool', 'lazy', and 'genius' people have not developed this 'skill', and are perceived by studiers as defective or bothersome.

See: 'Procrastinating', 'Wasting Time', and 'Blogging' for further understanding.

conclusions I've drawn about my study habits:

1. I better make studying fun, because it's definitely not going to be beneficial in any other way

2. It's bad news when someone asks why my book is upside down and I haven't noticed.

3. If I listen to slow music, I get bored. Hard music distracts. And not having music makes me twitch.

4. Twitching is a really messed up concept. Like...whoa body. why did you just do that? Talk to me. what caused my hand or my leg or my eye to just jump. There's nothing scary here. Holy. It's kinda gross if you think about it. ew.

and:

5. My trains of thought are pulled by the Little Engine Who Couldn't.

chugga chugga.....chug...ga.....ch-

I could study...but I could also ..not.