Chicken or the Egg?

I was stackin apples a couple days ago, and began pondering some heavy stuff. How much control do we really have over our lives? Are there universal ingredients to perfect happiness, or is it relative to everyone based on personality? And above all, which came first: The Chicken or the Egg?


AHA! Now THAT'S a question I believe I can answer. It took some careful speculation and hypothesizing, and several other scientifically based actions as I questioned how something could come from nothing, and so forth.

And then I had an epiphany.

My friends, the real question is: the barbecue or the frying pan? Here's why:

 Law number A: If there was a need to cook a new item, that need would be met...and therefore that item would be cooked. I believe Darwin said this, in some form or another.

If that new item was the egg, then surely these Neanderthals wouldn't bother with a barbecue for the chicken, as they'd wrack their jelly-brains for a way to cook this potentially delicious new egg.

And if the chicken came first, then they wouldn't waste their time with a frying pan. They'd toss the bird on a rotisserie spit and barbecue that sucker. Right?

That's detective work. Here's where it gets interesting.

The cast-iron frying pan couldn't have possibly been invented until the Iron Age (circa 1000 BCE), with the arrival of Teflon not until a few years later.

The idea of cooking something over hot coals is clearly much older than that, as some archeological sites have found remnants of BroilKing manuals from 25 000 years ago.  Back then you bought a 'build your own fire' kit. So we can safely assume that since the barbecue was invented first, the Chicken, in fact, must have existed before the egg. Cause and effect.

So where were these chickens coming from if there were no eggs?

It wasn't until the failing numbers of Storks stopped bringing baby chickens to their mothers that evolution introduced a new adaptation: the egg. And that gave way to the birth of the iron age, as suddenly humanity needed a frying pan.

I'm glad safeway pays me to come up with this stuff.

And just so you know:
I updated Wikipedia with this theory so everyone will know the truth. You're welcome.

I think all this pondering of eggs is because I stupidly purchases 120 extra large eggs a week ago. Only three people eat eggs in my house. So in order to finish them in even a MONTH, we need to eat 30 eggs a week, that's 10 eggs a person per week. That's too many eggs. I could go for some chicken.