Memory: Slowly, It All Will Fade To Black.

Some random mumblings on the idea of memory, the past, time, and forgetting. 

Why they concern me today? I don't know.

 

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I want / I'm waiting for / How can I find

something new / something forgotten / something lost

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Me: Grandma, one day soon, I'd like you to tell me the story of your life.
Grandma: Well, usually they tell that story at the funeral.

Me: ...I'd like to hear it before then.

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A recollection of a girl:

When a memory loses the war with time

I've lost all that once was mine.

When the little things are forgotten
(but surely there were little things, right?)

When she has forgotten that there were the little things
(Vague, dim, hazy...)
When she forgets that she has forgotten.
 (Damn it, Time, what is left for us?)

What's worse than forgetting?--

Losing physical traces of what she remembers.

Losing the people who share her memory.

Losing people to time, to distance.

The people I shared those memories with:

When they forget

and I forget

Then suddenly, it's like it never happened.

There's nothing like living in the past,

Always with her head turned around

looking the other way.

It hurts her after a while.

The present is just a single fleeting breath

between where she will go

and the place she just left

It is of little use, since her past led her here

and her future will lead you away,

 Nothing more than a reference point to gauge her next step

A chance to pause, and:

to forget what never mattered, to love and regret what did,

to focus on what hasn't happened yet,

The challenges she has not met.

The future-

so uncertain!

And yet to fear it is so irrational

Passion is a better fuel than fear, no doubt.

For if a turned head led me in here-

to this cave of craving something I once knew,

then perhaps forgetting will lead me out?

Then let it go:

The good, the bad, that longing for that which I've never had.

And grab hold:

Something new, something better, something true.

And allow the memories to wither, as the many become the few.

Fear / Change / Love

Fear

I could / You could/ This could

be uncertain / fail / die

I could be uncertain

I could fail

I could die

You could be uncertain

You could fail

You could die

This could be uncertain

This could fail

This could die

Change

I will / You will / This will

be confusing / take / give

I will be confusing

I will take

I will give

You will be confusing

You will take

You will give

This will be confusing

This will take

This will give

Love

I am / You are / This will be

what you want / what I want / perfect

I am what you want

I am what I want

I am perfect

You are what you want

You are what I want

You are perfect

This will be what you want

This will be what I want

This will be perfect.

To:

her whom

I will find 

/

she who 

will find me




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