The Smug Ant: A Depressing Solution: Hapathy

It's all about finding the middle road. Everything in moderation-- including moderation, you might say.

You don't want to be TOO happy. Then you just freak people out. Don't be that person walking alone down the street with a crazy lopsided smile plastered across their tilted face, blinking every second, and muttering something under their breath. When you're so psychotically happy, it can skew your perspective on reality. Happiness will punch you in the face smash your glasses so you can't see the world too clearly, and no one is quite sure how to relate to you.

You don't want to be brutally sad. I don't feel like this needs much of a defense. No one wants to be miserable all the time, letting everything get to you, drag you down. This is unhealthy, straight up. The kind of people you attract when you are eternally miserable are the exact kind of people who will show you new ways to reach lower lows. Complaining is exhausting.

The solution?

Hapathy: A certain type of apathy that achieves happiness.

If you are walking the middle road between uberhappy and ubersad, this road is called apathy. But not sad apathy. Just plain apathy. This is a comforting feeling. Quiet happiness. Emotions carefully guarded, not wearing them on your sleeve. Instead, wear a small smile whenever possible. It's crazy how smiling actually has the effect of making you feel happier. No one needs to know you're happy, really. Unless they want to know, then they'll make some sort of inquiry about how you're doing or just strike up general conversation.

The minute I stopped showing blatant and immediate interest in random people, they started showing interest in me. It's remarkable, really, that it's the guy who really doesn't care who gets the girl. And the girl who shows immediate interest in you is considered 'easy' and avoided. We like the challenge of breaking through people's hapathy. It's attractive, I suppose. How depressing is that?

Caution: there are side effects when a naturally curious, talkative, bold, social person (such as..oh i dunno, me) makes an attempt to show some restraint, who begins to filter what he says, using discretion, and trying not to be open, blunt. The major side effect? It's easier and a more justifiable strategy to be dishonest. Lies are the basis of avoiding confrontation as well as meaningful interaction. "How are you? Good. Oh..okay..thanks for lying. We both know that's not true. But at least we don't have to talk about it."

I hate it. I hate that it works. But the result is that I don't freak people out. I don't come across creepy because I simply showed some platonic interest. Because CREEPY people are the ones who talk to you in class even though you don't know them. Hapathy works because then THEY make the first contact. Well, this is an ongoing investigation, so don't quote me on anything here. I'm not after anything here. I'm not pursuing anyone or anything... I'm just saying, putting up some fences seems to encourage people to climb them, tear them down, as long as it's on their terms.