The Holes In The Wall That Happened To Align

A metaphor in script form.

I woke up one night during this last week of insomnia with this idea. I enjoyed writing this.

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Me: Hey

Her: Um..hi.

Me: That's a pretty big wall you've built around you. Very high. I couldn't climb it.

Her: Yeah..I see you've got a decent one around you too. Thicker than mine.

Me: I have been building my wall for a long time. How about you?

Her: Oh, I've been at it for a while too. But I can't seem to finish it. I leave this little hole in it, right at eye-level.

Me: Me too. I want to be able to see out, i suppose, without being too exposed. It's curious that our viewing holes should line up like this.

Her: Yes. I can see your face when you stand in front of the hole, and you can see mine. But I could easily move to the side and be completely hidden.

Me: That is quite empowering. But yet you choose to stay here and face me. Do you feel safe like this?

Her: I suppose I do. Probably only because I know you are behind your wall too. You keep me out just as much as I keep you out. I find comfort in the ability that we could not be close even if we wanted to.

Me: But do you want to?

Her: You ask a lot of questions for having built such a thick wall.

Me: Well, as our viewing holes align, you are all I can see. And I find you intriguing.

Her: Intriguing? Please! You only find me intriguing because you know I'll never reciprocate. You find safety in my emotional distance, my inability to get attached.

Me: That just might be true. These walls can be very useful. Well worth the effort of moving each stone into place.

Her: Tiring work, though. I've had a lot of frustration and anxiety, disappointments and broken hearts to build this wall. How do you like my wall?

Me: It's impressive. And yet all I can focus on is the viewing hole you have left, almost against your own will--as if you knew you could not completely separate yourself from the world. It is a hole of hope.

Her: I don't want to admit you are right. You should watch how far you push, watch what you say, or I'll move away from this hole, and you'll see no more of me.

Me: You could stay, and I'll see no more of you than your face.

Her: It's probably for the best. If there's one thing I've learned, is that you guys are all the same. All you see right now is a pretty face.

Me: Yes, it's true. But that doesn't mean I don't want to see more. You've made it impossible for me to know you better because your viewing hole is so small. If you were to widen it, then perhaps you would see how attractive I find you.

Her: No way. I'm safe here, and I see no point in risking that for you. I know nothing of you: I know less about you than you know of me.

Me: And yet my viewing hole is larger than yours. I'm not as jaded as you, yet. The difference is that I ask questions about you out of honest fascination, and you don't question me about who I am for fear of liking what you find.

Her: That's a bold assumption. Just as easily, I could assume I wouldn't like what I see if you were to show me more, and that's why you ask so many questions: to divert attention.

Me: Well, what would you like to know? I'm an open book.

Her: Hardly. You're behind a hell of a wall right now.

Me: Yes...I suppose I am. The answers I would give you would be carefully worded and thought out so as to avoid giving you something to detest about me.

Her: Alas, your viewing hole seems to be designed for one-way viewing.

Me: It's true. The perception of me you see is an inquisitive and fascinated character. But that has nothing to do with who I am.

Her: It sounds like you've got just as many reasons to build a wall as I do, but instead you use your larger viewing hole as a stage upon which you act, not an honest view of your personality.

Me: Well I hope you at least enjoy the show, however fake it may seem.

Her: Either way, I would never say. Chances are I'll hide behind my wall to laugh and smile at the good parts of your performance. I wouldn't want to give you the wrong idea.

Me: about what?

Her: about how I feel about you---oh no.

Me: go on..?

Her: No. I've said too much. Dammit, my wall is crumbling. You shut up. I have to go fix that crack over there.

Me: Maybe you could turn that crack into a doorway?

Her: there's not enough locks in the world to make a doorway that would make me feel safe.

Me: Maybe the only way to feel safe is to stop hiding and embrace the surroundings.  I think a door would do some good. Just to try, anyway.

Her: Do you have a door?

Me: Oh yes. I even leave once in a while. But what I find when I leave pushes me back here.

Her: Then why do you keep leaving?

Me: Faith, I suppose. Naive optimism that some day I will find someone who will live without walls.

Her: You'll just get hurt.

Me: Probably. But these walls keep out the sunlight too.

Her:  It's true. I'm cold from loneliness.

Me: Don't fix the crack. Build a door instead.

Her: I don't think I'll find anything out there. I've been behind this wall too long.

Me: I'll be out there.

Her: So what?

Me: Just saying.

Her: What makes you think this time would be different?

Me: I don't think it's a coincidence that our viewing holes line up. I think we can help each other.

Her: You want to fix me? Is that it?

Me: No. I don't think you're actually broken. You just need a little sunlight.

Her: ...What if we fail?

Me: Then we fail. The 'What If' game will hurt so much more than knowing the truths.

Her: I don't know any other games.

Me: Then let's not play games. Let's just drop the pretenses and be honest.

Her: Dammit. I'm scared.

Me: Be scared with me, without these walls. I'm coming out.

Her: I'll see your flaws.

Me: Every time I see you through this hole, I feel my every flaw magnified. I don't think it could be much worse if I exposed my true self. But it could be better.

Her: I've got a lot of scars you haven't seen. Flaws of my own.

Me: Probably, but they'll be prettier on you than the ugly grey wall you hide behind.

Her: Is it really that ugly?

Me: Awfully so.

Her: I'll have to come out there.

Me: Really?

Her: Yes, if my wall is that ugly, I need to see it for myself from the outside. That's the only reason I'm coming out there.

Me: Hopefully I can give you a reason to stay out.

Her: Hopefully. But I doubt it.

Me: See you out there in five minutes?

Her: Okay...I guess. I'll do it. Ohhh I'm a fool for doing this.

Me: Bring some sunglasses. It might be sunnier than you think.

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