You're not going to believe this.
Right now, at 12:08 am on December 25th, I am sitting on my parents couch in the living room. The fireplace is on, and the Christmas tree is glowing. The dog picks at a scab. And suddenly, my mom comes down the stairs, arms full of toys. "You can't see me" she says.
But I can. And I am absolutely apalled. I was desperately clinging to one last glimmer of hope that a creepy old hairy man who only owned one shirt systematically broke into billions of people's houses around the world leaving toys built by 'little people' that violate patents galore as they create exact replicas of popular toys for crazed kids who refuse to go to sleep.
But alas! It was my MOM doing all these things. Can you believe it?! MY MOM comes to everyone's houses and drops off toys! You can buy me dinner this week, and I'll put in a good word for you for next year. It's never too early to suck up. I like steak.
Also, I love hearing everyone say "I'm going to go do some wrapping." because I think of 'Rapping' and immediately picture them as a black gangsta bustin' a move on the stage while astonishing the crowd with an incredible 'words per minute' count.
I need to go eat more of my grandmother's baking now. Yeaa this is the life. Enjoy the holidays guys.
haha, i had the exact same thought when my dad said he was going to do some wrapping yesterday. it took me a good second or so to realize what he meant
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