Mmm

I was on my way to General Studies (my favourite and most attended class), and decided that due to the dropping temperatures, a steeped tea from Tim Horton's would make it an even more enjoyable experience. The line wasn't too long, which made this an easier process, too. But for some reason, people wait in line for 10 minutes just to buy a coffee, and then they get to the front of the line and when they are called forward with an 'I'd like to help you here!', they are somehow distracted and hold up the whole line because they won't go order their coffee! Come on people. Pull it together!

So what should have been a 5 minute wait is now pushing 7.5 minutes (brutal!), and yet I'm still in perfectly good spirits. I promptly approach the counter and get straight to the point. No need for small talk. Down to business:

"I'd like an Extra Large Steeped Tea, three sugar, two cream, please."

"What?"

"Steeped Tea, please. Extra Large, triple double." I quickly repeat.  I realise I don't know which one is triple and which one is double. Is the 'triple' part of that referring to cream? Or sugar? Who makes these rules?

"Um.." she turns around and has a conversation with a coworker, which appears to be entirely unrelated and then comes back to take my money. I have already counted out the $1.73 in exact change, and am looking to get this done efficiently. She takes my money and I move down the counter. I receive my steeped tea in good time, but from past experience I know I need to stir it. So I open the lid ..and there's no cream or sugar in it. I explain my unfortunate circumstances to the closest employee, and she quickly takes my cup, dumps out about 1/4 of the steep tea, and adds the cream and sugar. The cup is still about 1/4 empty, so she reaches for the pot and fills it back up.

"Wait!" I said, pointing to the pot in her hand, "Is that steeped tea?"

'You ordered a steeped tea, no?" she replies with attitude. I smiled and walked away, thanking her.

I'm walking through the hall and decide I better take a sip before venturing outside to my next class. I crack the lid and take a sip. And stop. My already large eyes get even wider--so wide, that if we were at laser quest and the little kids saw me in the black light, they'd scream and cry (therefore making it easier for me to shoot them repeatedly and pin them in a corner...throw in an evil laugh, and they're scarred for life! MUAHAHAHAAAAaaa...).

Something was different about this steeped tea. Really different. Really wonderfully different. I smile at passer-bys, as they look at me suspiciously. What has happened to this Steeped Tea?

I replay the situation in my head, consult my taste buds, and come to an exciting conclusion:

That last quarter cup they filled my cup with after adding the cream and sugar: it wasn't tea--it was COFFEE!

Holy brown cow this is tasty, I think. I felt like I was holding a classified, world-altering secret in my hand, and that anyone finding out about this might try to destroy it, because mixing tea and coffee has got to be a faux pas to the extreme. People wouldn't only frown upon it, they may revert back to the 5th century BC and stone me to death. I moved quickly through the halls, avoiding eye contact. I realized there was a small chance that the Tim Horton's employee might have realized her mistake and come running after me to apologize, only to see me smiling as I sip the hot beverage. Then, naturally, she would be furious that I would like such a liquid, and feel compelled to call her rich uncle to hire hit men to come silence me for all time. So I was late for class, doubling back and making sure no one had followed me. I seemed to be safe for now.

"Hey Josh," says Jenn, a wonderful girl in my class.

"Jenn, I have to tell you something. I just discovered the ninth world wonder!"

"Um....what's the 8th?"

"Well currently, there's a debate whether the 8th world wonder is in fact sliced bread, or whether it's me."

"I think it's probably sliced bread. What's this new number nine?"

And I proceeded to tell her the story of this phenomenal new drink. I would not share it with her, however, because I was sick.

She didn't immediate whip out a scythe and kill me, so I could take comfort in knowing that there are some people who won't be terribly offended by the monstrosity that is tea+coffee.

All that was left was do name this drink. Then I could market it to the masses. if the name was good enough, I believed that people wouldn't be angry about the sacrilegious product.

teCofee?
Coftee?
toffee?
coteafee?
glorp?

These suck. Darcy suggested something more psychologically appealing. And then I had it:

Mmm

Yes, that was it! What better marketing scheme than telling them how to react to my product before even tasting it! Hahaha! I could almost see the millions of dollars pouring into my bank account! When I tell them about my product, they'll be inclined to strangle me, but in the end, they'll put down their razor wire and snuggle up in front of a glowing fireplace, saying "Mmmm..."

So consider this my copyright notice. I introduce you to Mmm, the 3/4 tea, 1/4 coffee, cream and sugar drink that does not give you wings, it gives you a rocket pack. It is the best part of waking up. Just watch out for the hit men...