I had a test today. So I decided to leave my house early to go to the bookstore and crouch behind the shelves and study. That is correct..I have not bought the textbook, nor do I intend to ever bow to their demands to spend over $100 on Art History. The internet is free. However, I recently discovered, the test is only on the pictures in the book.
So I'm getting dressed, skipping breakfast, and packing up my laptop. Time to go. I lock the door handle from the inside and take my keys out of my pocket (they are attached to a lanyard) to make sure I actually HAVE them. All too many times, I've been locked out of the house. In the rain. At night. When I was hungry. I'd stand under the tree, trying to keep dry, all the while wondering just how edible pine cones really are (not at all) until a housemate with a key showed up. I've tried crawling in windows, and literally got stuck, having to rip a perfectly good sweater in the process. I'm sure that would have looked great to the neighbours. No wonder they don't talk to us.
So anyways, I made sure I had my keys, and slammed the door behind me. I started to turn around and walk down the steps when--I couldn't move. I looked down and realized my lanyard had gotten caught in the door. I pulled, it didn't budge. 'Okay,' I thought, 'I need to unlock the door now to open it.' But the lanyard was caught too far down to reach the keyhole. I am immediately reminded of The Incredibles, as the fashion designer, Edna Mode, lists off all the instances of a superhero dying because he was wearing a cape:
"Do you remember Thunderhead? Tall, storm powers? Nice man, good with kids. November 15th of '58! All was well, another day saved, when? his cape snagged on a missile fin! Stratogale! April 23rd, '57! Cape caught in a jet turbine! Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snag on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex! No capes! "
My lanyard was now reminiscent of a long dangly thing waiting to get caught in a jet turbine or get hooked on a missile seconds before take off. Lanyards are pretty dangerous. I would advise using with caution. Don't become a victim. Watch out for doors.
I ended up having to tediously unhook my house key from the lanyard and unlock the door, open it, reassemble keys to lanyard, and bike extra fast to school, carefully watching out for launching rockets or low flying aircraft.
It'd be cool if I at least had a superpower to go along with these evils I fight.
What is the best superpower, anyways?
I vote time travel.
I second your vote for time travel as best superpower. Hands down, no competition. =)
ReplyDeletePlease don't refer to me as a housemate with a key.
ReplyDeleteI am not your housemate. But I do have a key.
I also have superpowers which allow me to rescue you so fervently (flashback to time I saved you from the rain, and other time I crawled in your window quite gracefully, with no ripped sweaters).
And, funny, I decided I was going to inform you of my superhero capabilities before I continued and read about your superhero ramblings. As an aside. We have the same brain.
hmm ya... i vote for time travel too. but i think flying would be really cool. no capes, of course. :)
ReplyDeleteMarya, my power i forgot to mention is making you want to do things like it was your own idea. We do not have the same brain. I merely use mine to 'help you out' once in a while ;-)
ReplyDeleteThough I won't lie..your 'screw you locked door, I'm getting in that house' super power far surpasses my own.